My Visitor's Origins ;)

terça-feira, abril 22, 2008

Força de Vontade =)

Arre...!

Por quê?!... Bem, a resposta agora não interessa...

O momento sim... =) E o futuro, ainda mais! :)

Despertaste algo em mim que pensava tão cedo não existir...

E isso, impulsionou uma intensa força de vontade dentro de mim...

Quero-te proporcionar o mesmo... Deixas-me?!

Gosto de ti... *

quinta-feira, abril 17, 2008

“…Adeus…?....Até à vista…?...”

O termo «adeus» numa primeira instância indica claramente uma despedida sugestiva de que não tornaremos a ver a pessoa de quem nos despedimos.

Contudo, este termo entrou em uso tão banal, que numa espécie de gíria (talvez, não sei que registo linguístico será), passou a representar pelo senso comum algo como um simples
“até logo”

Portanto, e a ti que tens uma «naturalidade» tão peculiar e «complexa», gostaria de dizer que sinto uma grande ambivalência entre dizer-te um «adeus» definitivo ou um mero “até logo”


Motivos?... Nem eu sei bem dizê-los… A verdade é que não é todos os dias que nos surgem pessoas que diante de nós, representem algo de tão bonito e sensível…

A inteligência, a mescla entre ingenuidade e perspicácia, a cómica ironia, a predisposição para boas acções, o empenho nos projectos futuros, a tua auto-exigência no trabalho, a determinação nos teus objectivos, a própria beleza interior e exterior que não consigo descrever, o dinamismo e até o discreto sorriso que há em ti… Fazem-me pensar demasiado…


E… “pensar, é estar doente dos olhos”… dizia alguém importante da nossa literatura! =)

Por outro lado, a capacidade para socializar (que é excelente e “só” representa mais uma grande qualidade), e a forma de se relacionar com algumas pessoas associada ao seu extenso número… deixam-me… com medo. Medo do sonho... e medo do sofrimento.

(Vá… deixam-me borradinho, pronto! LOL)

Não me posso entregar… não já. Não vou. Não devo.
Mas quero! Muito…

Nem sei porque faz parte de mim ansiar tanto por isto…! Procuro, é um facto. E talvez não o devesse fazer. Só que encontrei-te.

Hoje, quando me perguntaste se "estava bem", encontrava-me com o seguinte pensamento:


«Deixar-te-ei porque te quero bem, porque gosto de ti. Prometo que sentirei a tua falta, mas não me posso dar ao "luxo" de sofrer. E não quero dar a impressão errada por te "absorver" tanto.»

E agora?...

Bem… perante tal retórica, digo que agora “vamos indo e vamos vendo”… como dizia alguém muito “sábio” do senso comum.

… (Estou aqui ao teu lado e “sinto borboletas no estômago”. Sonhei contigo na passada noite... Penso em ti quando me encontro na solidão. Quero-te fazer mil e uma coisas, mas não. Não devo. Não posso. O "risco" é demasiado grande.)…

Que vou eu fazer?...

Mais uma vez eu mesmo respondo: Nada. Paz e sossego, e muita solidão à mistura.

…(Queria dizer-te um daqueles «adeus» definitivos, para evitar esses “tais riscos”, mas não consigo… é mais forte que eu, e sei que mais tarde ou mais cedo, vou acabar por ceder…)…

Perder-me-ei para sempre contigo, numa noite, e afogar-me em sensações indescritíveis de prazer e alegria?...

Talvez... talvez não… porque talvez não és “assim”… eu sou um «sonhador» e tu talvez não… não da maneira que sabes a que me refiro…
mas como gostava que o fosses…

«Adeus»….«Até à vista»…

quarta-feira, abril 16, 2008

“…::: MeMóRiAs:::…”

---» Foram meses de mais ilusão, provas da minha não aprendizagem, provas da minha estupidez, talvez…

---» Ou será que aprendi, mas sou tão sentimentalista que foi isso mesmo que prevaleceu? O sentimento, a vinculação, a entrega?...
Talvez só daqui a uns anos, se ainda por cá vaguear, saberei responder a isso…

---» Tudo é tão fugaz… tudo é tão efémero! O pensamento, as emoções… a própria VIDA!... Valerá tal tortura a pena?!...

---» O passado…
Terá sido bom?...
Terá sido mau?...
Terá sido horrível?...
Terá REALMENTE sido?... Ou terá sido um mero oásis na minha mente?...

---» Uma coisa é certa, “atribulado” é pouco para transparecer tanta emoção…

---» Estou sem palavras… ou melhor, elas querem sair de tal forma rápida e em simultâneo, que se o fizessem, não fariam sentido algum…
O sentimento e a emoção… esses voam de tal forma, que as seguintes letras musicais representam cada um dos momentos ”cruciais”, digamos, dos meus últimos tempos.
Faço-o porque são memórias. Ou pelo menos, estão-se a tornar nisso.
E, para que me seja possível um futuro (não prodigioso, mas vá)… idiossincrático em certa medida, preciso…tenho mesmo de o fazer.
Não.
Eu QUERO fazê-lo… e querer é o suficiente para saber que estou no rumo certo…
ESQUECER!
Melhor: Perdoar e Esquecer! :)

---» Cada memória vem de um momento diferente, e portanto, cada letra traduz sentimentos diferentes…

---» E porque nada é isolado, e porque a vida é um continuum de momentos ambíguos (bons, maus, ou até mesmo inexplicáveis – apenas passíveis de serem sentidos)… deixo então um pouco um pouco de mim.


CAPÍTULO I – “O início do fim…”

“I walk a mile with a smile.
I don't know I don't care where I am,
But I know it's all right.
Jump the tracks, can't get back.
I don't know anyone round here,
But I'm safe this time.
'Cause when you tell me, tell me, tell me
Stupid things like you do,
Yes I have to, have to, have to
Change the rules; I can't lose.


'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way that
I know you'll understand.


We talk and talk, round it all.
Who'd have thought we'd end up here?
But I'm feeling fine.
In a rush never trust, you'll be there
If I'd only stop and take my time.
'Cause with you I'm running, running, running
Somewhere I can't get to.
Yes I have to, have to, have to
Change the rules; I'm with you.


'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way thatI know you'll understand.


What if you get off at the next stop?
Would you just wave as I'm drifting off?
And if I never saw you again
Could I (could I) keep all (all) of this (of this) inside?


'Cause I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way that
I know you'll understand.
(I'm running but my heart won't keep up.
This feeling that I'm feeling is too much.
There's nothing that can slow me down now.
I'm running but I'll catch you somehow.)


I shiver. I shiver.


Yes I shiver, I just break up.
When I'm near you it all gets out of hand.
Yes I shiver, I get bent up.
There's no way that
I know you'll understand.”

(Shiver, de Natalie Imbruglia)




CAPÍTULO II – “A impotência e dor tortuosas…”

“Well, that day, that day.
What a mess.What a marvel.
I walked into that cloud again and
I lost myself
.And I'm sad, sad, sad,
Small, alone, scared,
Craving purity,
A fragile mind and a gentle spirit.
Well, that day, that day.
What a marvelous mess.
This is all that I can do;I'm done to be me.
Sad. Scared. Small. Alone. Beautiful.
It's supposed to be like this.
I accept everything.
It's supposed to be like this.
Well, that day, that day.
I lay down beside myself.
In this feeling of pain, sadness,
Scared, small, climbing, crawling,
Towards the light.
And it's all that I see.
And I'm tired and I'm right.
And I'm wrong.
And it's beautiful.
Well, that day, that day.
What a mess.
What a marvel.
We're all the same,
But no one thinks so.
And it's okay.
And I'm small.
And I'm divine.
And it's beautiful.
And it's coming.
And it's already here.
And it's absolutely perfect.
Well, that day, that day,
When everything was a mess.
And everything was in place.
And it's too much hurt.
Sad. Small. Scared. Alone.
And everyone's a cynic.
And it's hard and it's sweet.
But it's supposed to be like this.
Well, that day, that day,
When I sat in the sun.
And I thought and I cried.
'Cause I'm sad, scared, small, alone, strong.
And I'm nothing.
And I'm true.
Only a brave man can break through.
And it's all okay.
Yeah, it's okay.
Well, that day, that day.
I lay down beside myself.
In this feeling of pain, sadness,
Scared, small, climbing, crawling,
Towards the light.
And it's all that I see.
And I'm tired and I'm right.
And I'm wrong.
And it's beautiful.
Well, that day, that day.
What a mess.
What a marvellous mess.
We're all the same,
But no one thinks so.
And it's okay.
And I'm small.
And I'm divine.
And it's beautiful.
And it's coming.
And it's already here.
And it's absolutely perfect.
That day. That day.
That day. That day.
Well, that day, that day.
I lay down beside myself.
In this feeling of pain, sadness,
Scared, small, climbing, crawling,
Towards the light.
And it's all that I see.
And I'm tired and I'm right.
And I'm wrong.
And it's beautiful.
Well, that day, that day.
What a mess.
What a marvellous mess.
We're all the same,
But no one thinks so.
And it's okay.
And I'm small.
And I'm divine.
And it's beautiful.
And it's coming.
And it's already here.
And it's absolutely perfect.
That day. That day.
That day. That day.
That day. That day.
That day. That day.
So sweet.
Can you feel it? Hmm.
Are you here?
Are you with me?
I can feel it.
It's beautiful.
That day.
That day.
That day.
Absolutely perfect.

(That Day, Natalie Imbruglia)



CAPÍTULO III – “O regresso da Solidão…”

“My Lullaby, hung out to dry
What's up with that? It's over
Where are you dad, Mom's lookin' sad
What's up with that? It's dark in here


Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to


My mouth is dry, forgot how to cry
What's up with that? You're hurting me
I'm running fast, can't hide the past
What's up with that? You're pushing me


Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I used to

I used to


Why, bleeding is breathing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling on the floor


Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you crawling to the door
Why, bleeding is believing
You're hiding underneath the smoke in the room
Try, bleeding is believing
I saw you falling on the floor”

(Smoke, de Natalie Imbruglia)



CAPÍTULO IV – “E depois do escuro da solidão, brota uma pequena luz ao fundo do túnel…”

“Here it comes again.
Cannot out run my desire.
Cover my descent and throw the beauty on the fire.
Drawn towards the edge.
Do I assume I could fly?
Every secret shared.
Why do I drink the feelings dry?
Don't go too far - limitation scars.


Tonight, could I be lost forever?
To drown my soul in sensory pleasure.


Here it comes again.
You raise the bar even higher.
I cannot catch my breath.
So throw the beauty on the fire.
Don't push too hard - limitation scars.


Tonight, could I be lost forever?
To drown my soul in sensory pleasure.

Sensory pleasure
Sensory pleasure
Sensory pleasure


Could I be lost forever?
Do I assume I could fly?
Tonight, could I be lost forever?
To drown my soul in sensory pleasure.
Sensory pleasure
Sensory pleasure
Sensory pleasure


Could I be lost forever?
(Could you watch me fall?
Could you watch at all?
Could you watch me fall?
Another night I'm gone.
Could you be lost too?
Is it gonna stop?)

(Could you watch me fall?
Could you watch at all?
Could you watch me fall?
Another night I'm gone.
Could you be lost too?
Is it gonna stop?)”

(Beauty On The Fire, de Natalie Imbruglia)



CAPÍTULO V – “Confirmação mental do real: a existência dum passado falacioso…”

“You bored me with your stories
I cant belive that I endured you for as long as I did
Im happy its over, Im only sorry
That I didnt make the move before you
And when you go I will remember
To send a thank-you note to that girl oh that girl
I see shes holding you so tender
Well I just wanna say...
Just wanna say


I never really loved you anyway
No I didnt love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway

Im so glad youre moving away

Valentino, I dont think so
You're watching MTV while I lie dreaming in at my bed
And come to think of it
I was misled
My flat, my food, my everything
And thoughts inside my head
Before you go I must remember
To have a quiet word with that girl
Oh that girl
Does she know youre not a spender?
Well I just have to say...
Just wanna say


I never really loved you anyway
No I didnt love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway

Im so glad youre moving away

Yeah, I am

Yeah, I am

And when you go I will remember
I must remember to say...


I never really loved you anyway
No I didnt love you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I never really loved you anyway
I never loved you anyway
No I didnt love you anyway
Never truly loved you anyway

I'm so happy youre moving away
Yeah Im delighted youre moving away”

(I Never Loved You Anyway, dos The Corrs)




CAPÍTULO VI – “A fúria do passado... a busca pela liberdade…”

“There's no sign on the gate
and there's mud on your face
Don't ya think it's time we re-investigate this situation?
Put some fruit on your plate
You've forgotten how it started.
Close your eyes
think of all the bubbles of love we made,

and you're down on your knees
it's too late.
Oh don't come crawlin'
and you lie by my feet.
what a big mistake.
I see you fallin'

got a buzz in my head
and my flowers are dead.
Can't figure out a way to rectify this situation.
I don't believe what you said
you forgotten how it started
Close your eyes
think of all the bubbles of love we made

and you're down on your knees
it's too late.
Oh don't come crawlin'
and you lie by my feet.
what a big mistake.
I see you fallin'

I could sting like a bee.
Careful how you treat me baby
I don't think I'll accept your sorry invitation.
Close the door as you leave

and you cry over me.
I can't wait.
I feel you stallin'
and you try to reach me.
What a big mistake.
I hear you calling.”

(Big Mistake, de Natalie Imbruglia)



CAPÍTULO VII – “A certeza do uníssono… a ausência da saudade do outrora" :)

“Fallen three times in a row

Waking up with vertigo

But you were there to break my fall

Before I had to face it all

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Cause I wouldn't wanna move on

Without you

I won't be lost

Next time you see me

My pain will be gone

Baby believe me I been trying

But my heart keeps on breaking

I won't be lost

Smiling like a billionaire

Hoping you were unaware

The walls inside were caving in

My world had come apart again

Don't let me it show

Don't let them know

That I wouldn't be very strong

Without you

I won't be lost

Next time you see me

My pain will be gone

Baby believe me I been trying

But my heart keeps on breaking

I won't be lost

Don't you give up on me

Cause I wouldn't be very strong

And I wouldn't wanna move on

Without you

I won't be lost

Next time you see me

My pain will be gone

Baby believe me

I been trying but my heart keeps on breaking

I won't be lost

I won't be lost”

(I Won’t Be Lost, de Natalie Imbruglia)





CAPÍTULO VIII – “A rebelião do Ego... a certeza da independência…”

“Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Justice

Start your own currency!

Make your own stamp

Protect your language

Declare independence

Don't let them do that to you

Declare independence

Don't let them do that to you

Make your own flag!

Raise your flag! (Higher, higher!)

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Damn colonists

Ignore their patronizing

Tear off their blindfolds

Open their eyes

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

With a flag and a trumpet

Go to the top of your highest mountain!

And raise your flag! (Higher, higher!)

Raise your flag! (Higher, higher!)

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Declare independence!

Don't let them do that to you!

Raise the flag!”

(Declare Independence, de Björk Gudmundsdöttir)





CAPÍTULO IX – “Revolução Sexual!!!”

“Everybody shake it

Time to be free amongst yourselves

Your mama told you to be discreet

And keep your freak to yourself

But your mama lied to you all this time

She knows as well as you and I

You've got to express what is taboo in you

And share your freak with the rest of us

’Cause it's a beautiful thing

This is my sexual revolution

Everybody shake it

Time to be free amongst yourselves

Your mama told you to be discreet

And keep your freak to yourself

But your mama lied to you all this time

She knows as well as you and I

You've got to express what is taboo in you

And share your freak with the rest of us

’Cause it's a beautiful thing

This is my sexual revolution

Everybody break it

Every rule every constriction

My papa told me to be home by now

But my party has just begun

Maybe he'll understand

That I got to be

To be the freak that God made me

So many things I want to try

Got to do them before I die

This is my sexual revolution

I'm so funkin' beautiful

Especially when I take my clothes off

I'm so funkin' beautiful

Especially when I take my clothes off

Sexual revolution

Got to do them before I die

Got to do them before I die”

(Sexual Revolution, de Macy Gray)



CAPÍTULO X – “O gosto pela Tua «naturalidade» complexa…” =)P.(=

“You were right.
And I don't want to be here
if you're gonna be there.
Was that supposed to happen?
I'll hold tight.
I'll remember to smile.
Though it has been a while.
And without you does it matter?
There's no room.
No place to start.
When our souls are apart.

I want to travel through time.
See your surprise.
I'd hold you so tight.
I'm counting down the days tonight.
I just want to be a million miles away from here.
I'm counting down the days.

How've you been?
It's just the usual here.
And days are feeling like years.
And every day's without you.
Now I cry just a little too much
when I think of your touch
And everything about you.
I feel cold.
I'm in the dark.
When our souls are apart.

I want to travel through time.
See your surprise.
I'd hold you so tight.
I'm counting down the days tonight.
I just want to be a million miles away from here.

I want to travel through time.
See your surprise.
I'd hold you so tight.
I'm counting down the days tonight.
I just want to be a million miles away from here.
I'm counting down the days.
I'm counting down the days.
I'm counting down the days.
I'm gonna be you surprise.
I'm gonna hold you so tight.

Yeah!

I want to travel through time.
See your surprise.
I'd hold you so tight.
I'm counting down the days tonight.
I just want to be a million miles away from here.
I want to travel through time.
See your surprise.
I'd hold you so tight.
I'm counting down the days tonight.
I just want to be a million miles away from here.
A million miles away from here.


(Counting Down The Days, de Natalie Imbruglia)


FIM


P.S.: O fim acaba em aberto... porque estes são apenas alguns dos muitos momentos que fazem parte do «tal» continuum que é a vida comum de um mero ser humano… E porque este é o meu início de um novo ciclo...=)

Fiquem bem…
Fiquem em paz…
[[[ ]]