Slippage... :(

Seven months passed since I came here for the last time...

Seven months and a lot of little stories about a young man who started a new chapter, with a major adventure, across England!!!

It all started in the outskirts of Norwich, around a little place called Attleborough...

It was little, and it was rough, crowded with anti-social people and silence in their body languages...

An experience that I hated, yet I don't regret for all the resilience it provided me.

During that time I met people like Sue Knight, Ruth Stannard and Hester Johanna... people who I will always carry on my memory for the learning opportunities given, for the friendship and for the motherhood spirit.

And then... I decided I had enough, and so landed in the most gorgeous and atractive place ever: Chelsea and South Kensington, in London ;)

And so a new path begins...

Everyday I wake up in the morning, open my eyes and I try not to fall as hard as I can. As I leave home, in every cloudy London morning, I try not to slip...

I am João. I am Pedro. I am a whole body with such a desire of living and so afraid of failing.

I am the beginning, the middle and the end.

As I walk, I put my earphones and play my iPod... I open my eyes and fall asleep.

"My mind is strong", I think to myself. "I'll be resilient and capable enough to survive in this concrete jungle".

While I walk... I'm not giving up, on me nor my beliefs.

While I look at the sky, with the sun hidden behind such huge dark grey clouds, I know I won't fall into pieces.

While I sadly cry every night in my bedroom, I see I'm human, I see I'm alone and that my tears will never dry.

While this heart beats, it will never run for something granted.

Where's the challenge? Where's the pursuit? Where's the game? Where's the love...?

Nahh...

This concrete jungle hardly has true friendship to offer, as much as such thing as... Love.

Thus...

Just leave me alone...

My hand's my path... and I'm so comfortable in it... So safe...

But it's my world... an empty one with no challenges... no disappointments...

Shall I jump out of it and see how it goes?

I don't know... Yet I'll be altruistic in each step I give...

And if I get stuck in this emptiness that causes me such a vertigo, I will be forced to let myself slip through my fingers. Prisoners of my two hands...

Because the future is nothing but the sensible and coherent present...

Thus, I must be optimistic and keep...

Walking...

This is not a fight. This is a path. João Pedro's path...

P.S.: My words will be always hostages of my pulse.